I felt so bad this morning as I started surfing through friends' blogs, seeing as how so many of you update on a regular basis. I thought to myself, "Is there really nothing exciting going on in my life right now?" Well, every day is absolutely wonderful in Puerto Rico; there are just no real surprises. Alas! I just got my surprise.
I've already told my friend Kati about this on GoogleChat, and I had to call Stacy so she could tell me that it's not my fault. “What happened?” you ask. I am the intern in the office, so naturally I was asked to make coffee--coffee for the clients we have here who are in a meeting with my boss. I was praying that my boss actually said "copy," but no, it was absolutely "coffee" because along with one order of coffee, I was to get a glass of water.
"Katy," he says, "I'm sorry to ask you to do this, but I need for you to make me a coffee." As he walks into the room, he asks the client, "Regular?" "Sure, regular is just fine," he responds. "Would you like Splenda with that?" "Yes, I'd like some Splenda. Thanks."
"What am I supposed to do??!" A shower of thoughts start flooding my head. "Do I use a mug? There are only two mugs in this kitchen. Do those belong to people? Is that sanitary? Do people use mugs for visitors?" Then I thought about how the creepy girl on Wicker Park makes Josh Hartnett a cup of coffee in a glass instead of a mug because she wasn't really in her apartment, and she couldn't find where her friend kept the mugs. She lied and said that she broke all her mugs--hence the wine glasses. If that didn’t make sense, I would suggest that you watch this fascinating film. Somehow my family and roommate all really love it, but everyone else we show it to dislikes it. (So don’t say I didn’t warn you if you do decide to watch it.)
Sorry I went off on a tangent. Back to the thoughts that are racing in my head. I decide to use a regular cup. Luckily we have a machine that does all the work for you. You press the button and voilà, you have a hot cup of coffee, whether that cup contains espresso, mocha, cappuccino—I have no idea what the difference is. There are about 10 drinks to choose from. I’ve “made” (as in pressed the button) the chocolate caliente (hot chocolate), so I know the routine. The cups are already in the machine. You just push the button and wait for it to stop making noise. “Okay,” I decide, “I’m going to make café con leche.” Coffee with milk is regular coffee, right? After all, there’s not a simple “café” option or “café regular.” “Café con leche it is. He better enjoy it. This is how we do in Puerto Rico.”
Reluctantly I pushed the button and got a baby-sized cup of coffee, put a little mixing straw in the cup, and delivered the controversial cup of coffee to the client with two packets of Splenda. Splendid. Now they ask for napkins. Napkins I can do! I rush back into the kitchen, hesitant to show my face again in case the cup rather than a mug was the wrong choice, and then chuck the napkins at their faces and run. (Not really.)
How embarrassing, though. As you can tell, I thought long and hard about this coffee. I didn’t want to show my face not only because of all the reasons aforementioned but also because I had been gone for so long in the kitchen, pacing back and forth, deciding what to do.
My boss just opened the door to the conference room. He’s walking this way, still talking to the clients. I don’t think he’ll stop by to chat with the intern. What if I didn’t do a satisfactory job? Ugh. Coffee. I will never drink you. Hopefully I will never make you again. Had I been smart like my sis, I would have worked in a coffee shop (yes, I do love the smell of coffee) so that I would not have these kinds of problems. I guess you’re supposed to get an internship so that you can gain “experience,” right? How lame. I can’t believe a cup of coffee could cause me so much grief.
I should have used a mug.
9 comments:
Katy-that's hilarious! I feel your pain. I used to be a waitress and I had to serve coffee. I had no idea what I was doing...
Post some pictures of the beautiful tropical paradise you're in!
Great story! You crack me up! I would have done the same thing. I didn't realize you had a job there. What are you doing? But more importantly, when are you coming back to Utah? We miss you! At least we'll get to see you at the big wedding. Have fun out there in the sunshine. I'm so jealous!!!
That was great!! I guess it doesn't help that the coffee machine is in Spanish. :) I can't stop laughing. But seriously, being a non-coffee drinker in a coffee shop call Coffee Haus is pretty ironic.
The best part was that I get this message from Katy and she's whispering, trying to not be heard, "Stacy, I have to make coffee, I don't know what to do....cappuccinno, latte, espresso?" So naturally, I get on wikipedia and look each of them up and call her back with my impressive coffee knowledge, trying to help a sista out. By that time she had taken the coffee. Good story Kates! -stacy
Wow, wikipedia? You should've just called me - much faster.
(can you imagine how funny this sounds to the rest of the coffee-drinking world? What would Captain Starbucks think?)
haha Seriously. I looked at all the blogs I'm linked to and verified that pretty much everyone on there either doesn't drink coffee themselves or knows that I don't drink coffee, so we're good.
hahaha Katy I loved your story! Pretty much I probably would have done the same thing. Infact just reading your story stressed me out! hahah! Glad you got through it! I love ya and miss ya!!
Katy, I love your story! I wouldn't know what to do either. Also, I love that you are doing your internship in PR, that will look so good on your resume. Not that you need anything besides your spectacular GPA.
oh man. this was a good story. i might have started crying if i were you, haha. good thing you made it out of there alive k-brink. that was a close call. whew...
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